Woke Gospel

Wokeness is a New Religion with its Own Gospel

Now, this post is a satire though since I believe that there is a only a share of joke in every joke, it reflects the truth of modern Western life largely. Since I do really think that Wokeness (new Western far Left ideology which comprises of intersectionality, Critical Race Theory, Queer Theory, etc.) is a new Western religion, and quite fundamental one as such, here are some my witty parallels between Wokeness and Christianity. Similarities are striking, judge for yourself.

Woke Bible: Critical Race Theory, Intersectionality, Queer Theory, etc.

Woke Dogmas: systemic white racism, inherent state oppression, inherent evils of capitalism, ‘climate emergency’, etc.

Woke Original Sin: 'Whiteness'

Woke Way to Atonement/Redemption: Renounce your privilege (mostly white privilege, of course, but also straight or cis)

Woke Messiah (or Savior): Greta Thunberg, innocent child 'free of sin', who is always right and knows everything despite not finishing her school, and who will save us all

Woke Saints: radical Left politicians, like Ocasio Cortez in US or Nicola Sturgeon in UK, and all Democrats and Labourists by extension

Woke Martyrs: Everyone who was 'offended'

Woke Devil: Donald Trump, whom you can blame for literally everything (including your bad personal circumstances unrelated to politics), because he's the 'source of all evil' and his 'evil influence' pervades everything, perhaps even your underpants

Lesser Demons: Boris Johnson, Marin Le Pen, and all Republicans and Tory by extension

Heretics and Apostates: every liberal or moderate who finally woke up from the Woke cult, and dared to question any of its dogmas, or who was just proven not 'Woke enough' by some of the Woke Saints or Martyrs. The most famous recent example is JK Rowling, but there are much more of such. I myself am a Heretic and Apostate there, for example. Heretics and Apostates are usually hated even more than Demons by 'virtuous Woke people' (though not more than Devil Trump himself), because of their alleged 'betrayal' of the Woke cult.

Punishment for 'Sinners': If the 'evil ones' would pledge their guilt and 'renounce their privilege' by some public Woke rite, like Kneeling, then they might be given the second chance in Woke after some trial period. If they'd refuse to do that, or, worse, 'persist in their heresy' and would not 'repent in their bigotry', then the common punishment is online lynching by Holy Woke Mobs (for example, on Twitter), and canceling of the 'unrepentant Geraldine' from every media platform.

Woke Paradise: Eternal Globalism and Socialism (after eliminating the evil concepts of Border and Sovereignty, and dismantling even more evil capitalism for good), with extensions such as Islamic 'sharia law' and Communism implemented for all who wants those holy things.

Woke Rites: Kneeling is the holiest of Woke rituals promoted by holy BLM. Apologizing is the second best ritual. You should constantly Apologize for literally everything even if you’re guilty of nothing of it, but especially for your white skin color or ‘cis’ identity. This is how Holiness is attained in Woke. If you’re not yet ready for Kneeling or Apologizing, you at least should daily chant multiple Woke mantras like ‘Black Lives Matter’, ‘White silence is violence’ or ‘Trans women are women’.

P.S. That all might sound funny and ironic, and I myself laughed a lot while writing this (as I said, satire and humor are the best ways to get rid of your own anger at injustice done and to ridicule those who do injustice as well), but it's tragic nevertheless how, after defeating one fundamentalist religion, our minds became enslaved by another cult.