Reverse Gender Stereotypes are Also Toxic
We Can't Force Men to Be Neither Masculine Nor Feminine
So I finally got what my problem is with men wearing a dress (apart from all trans grooming shit) and encouraging of feminine men and masculine women in general by our society. Just in case, I’m no conservative rooting for ’traditional masculine models’. In the contrary, I believe it's one’s personal choice what's to wear, and men should NOT be forbidden to wear a dress. Also, as a gender not-conforming, openly gay man myself who also exhibits some feminine traits, I am by no means opposed to other men exhibiting them as well.
Moreover, I despise conservatives' double standards with this regard (and my readers know how much I hate double standards and hypocrisy) when they are perfectly OK with women wearing pants but raise an outcry if man wears a dress or applies makeup. Fuck you guys, men can do whatever they want with their bodies and dress however they like as well, and it's not up to you to shame or judge them for it.
All above mentioned being said, what's my problem with men wearing a dress then? Well, I just realized that all those so-called 'gender defying' trends in our society do not actually defy gender and do not encourage the freedom of expression for men and women with regard to their gender. No, in the contrary, they reinforce the gender dichotomy but the other way around!
I mean that we still didn't get rid of 'traditional masculine' and 'traditional feminine' traits. We just encourage 'traditional masculine traits' in women now, and 'traditional feminine traits' - in men. So we just changed the order but kept the dichotomy. So had it become any better now then? Not really.
Don't trust me? Well, look at modern fashion and culture trends with regard to gender. All kind of traditionally 'feminine' behavior is encouraged in men and boys now - from wearing dresses and heels and using makeup to crying (instead of suppressing emotion) and being soft in general. In the contrary, all kinds of traditionally 'masculine behavior' is being encouraged in girls and women - assertiveness, dominance, suppressing emotion, etc. So is it any better than traditional patriarchal gender modeling? We still have the same modeling only now men take feminine roles and women - masculine ones. But the toxic gender dichotomy which is determining one's life and stifling one’s freedom is still there though.
Which kind of freedom of expression is it stifling exactly? Well, what if some men actually want to exhibit traditional masculine traits and to behave in 'masculine ways' and it suits them well, same as what if some women actually enjoy to behave in feminine ways, to wear dresses, and it suits them as well? But this type of behavior is no longer encouraged! Typical masculine traits in men (but not in women) are more and more often seen as toxic, threatening, and men are often shamed for it. In the contrary, soft and feminine women are also seen more and more often as 'weak and subservient', 'by-products of patriarchy', and are shamed for it. Hence, men and women are free to express only opposite gender's traits from now on.
Of course, no one forces men to wear dresses and heels, and no one forces women not to wear them either. But men and women are shamed for such reverse 'gender non-conforming behavior' though as I said. Hence, quite ironically, gender non-conforming behavior in this our new society is actually conforming to old gender stereotypes! So, by trying to get rid of old gender stereotypes, we had created new ones, opposite to the old ones. Before, society celebrated and perpetuated masculine men and feminine women stereotypes. Now we are perpetuating and celebrating feminine men and masculine women. Is it any better? Still no freedom of expression.
Again, nothing wrong with feminine men and masculine women, they are great imo and I'm one of them. But only if they themselves chose to be like that, and if they are happy this way. If society pushes men towards femininity by encouraging feminine behavior and condemning masculine one (similarly pushing women to masculinity), then there's no freedom and no good. It's basically exactly the same which patriarchal society was doing by pushing men to masculinity and women to femininity. It's equally toxic. Only now we are pushing men to femininity and women to masculinity. But still pushing. Just great.
Some people might object to me that there are a lot of trans people nowadays which also defy traditional gender roles. But no, they don't defy them either. Trans people are basically choosing the gender identity opposite to the one they were born with, to their biological one, but they still choose gender identity, and conform to it. In general, trans activism is trying to replace biologically determined sex by the societal concept of 'gender identity' which a person can choose. But there is still gender dichotomy though, only instead of biological sex we are dealing with 'gender identity' now. Not much difference imo.
The true freedom of expression and defying of gender imo would be when men and women can behave perfectly NATURAL for them, e.g., perfectly in accordance with their OWN NATURE, irrespective to any societal gender stereotypes and expectations. When society doesn't impose certain types of behavior on them by encouraging 'right types of gender behavior' and shaming 'wrong types'. When men and women didn't have to think of what's expected from their gender in every situation (what to wear, how to behave, etc.), but just to do what they feel like to do.
So, if some men want to wear a dress and heels like Harry Styles, let them do it, don't shame them for it and don't raise an outcry like 'bring back masculine men'. In the contrary, if a man chose to dress as a cowboy or in military style, don't shame him for that as well, telling him that he 'perpetuates toxic masculine stereotypes instead of defying them'. No, it's you who are perpetuating toxic gender stereotypes by telling men what they should wear based on their gender and by depriving them from their freedom and independent agency.